Blondes Blondes Blondes

2 Blondes with hammers:

 Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

 Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, ‘Why are you throwing those nails away?’

 Carol explained, ‘When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away.’

 Donna got completely upset and yelled, ‘You moron! Those nails aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house.

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The blonde who tried to commit suicide:

 A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

 ‘How did this happen?’ the emergency room doctor asked her.

 ‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the blonde replied.

 ‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?’

 ‘No, Silly,’ the blonde said, ‘first I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants. I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’

 ‘So then?’ asked the doctor.

 ‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’

 ‘So then?’ asked the doctor.

 ‘Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: ‘This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

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Damage from a hail storm:

 A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

 The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

 So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

 Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, ‘What are you doing?’

 The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

 The roommate rolled her eyes and said, ‘Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.’